note 470
“age is just a number”? incorrect. age is just a word. the word is age
note 469
“my 2 braincells are bouncing around in my skull”? sorry, but you actually have billions. they’re just really stupid
note 468
two dudes, chillin in a hot tub. also kissing each other cause theyre gay
note 467
FDA trials discovered that submerging the lungs in soapy water cleans them, reliably curing COVID-19. unfortunately it kills you immediately, so we’re still looking for a solution
note 466
[on a first date] so like,, describe your ideal polyhedron
note 465
i am now wiggling around in an official capacity
note 464
“this, that and the other”? you kids are so spoiled these days. back in my day you only got this OR that—and the other wasn’t even invented yet!
note 463
if you thought QAnon was crazy get this. rumor has it that BILLIONS worldwide follow a shadowy figure known as “CAnon”, whose tellings are disseminated by interpreters of ancient works of writing
note 462
if sex is the “little death”, then call me immortal 😎
note 461
ok fine. if you really want a prophecy then get this. in the next couple of years, they are going to LAUNCH the earth… into SPACE
note 460
no one has asked to hear any of my prophecies lately
note 459
yeah i have Body Image Issues. the Issue is not enough women have been entranced by Images of my Body
electric bleel
note 458
love it when newspapers attribute information to “sources”. oh i thought you conjured it from thin air
note 457
hiiiiii what if we played a little game called We bare our souls to each other and form an everlasting bond? just a thought i had. lol
dall-e generates: bill clinton farming in minecraft
Baphomartin
made with dall-e
note 455
(at subway) can i order the train? haha! just kidding, i know you are a sandwich shop. can i order the sandwich
note 456
(being shoved into a locker and crying) its a good thing i have such a rich inner life. or i would be really mad right now
note 454
(on america’s got talent) hi judges. my talent is avant-garde performance art. around my neck is an electric shock collar, which every member of the audience is able to trigger by downloading a free app on their phone