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note 523

2023.05.31

not impressed when someone tells me their ribs fall off the bone. like ok yours dont know how to balance. whatever

note 524

2023.05.31

Q: What kind of yogurt do gorillas eat?

Answer

Gorillas don’t eat yogurt!

colors of noise

2023.05.26

“white noise pink noise brown noise” you may have heard of these. well i’ve listened to all of them for about 30 seconds apiece and here are my ratings. the official source for each color is whatever came up first in youtube search.

this is not on the same scale as the ones detailed in that one blog post. unlike music i wouldn’t listen to any of these for fun.

note 522

2023.05.26

“her bark is worse than her bite,” she said.

then the dog shot me with a gun.

mapgame 1

2023.05.24

this is a map but i took away the title and legend. your goal is to guess what the map represents. (this one is very very hard without hints)

the map

tiny hint

14 other countries would have been colored in some past versions of the map but not in the current one

small hint

if this were colored based on a sliding scale, the US would be by far the highest on the scale

medium hint

possible map title: “countries that contain at least one [redacted]”

big hint

it’s about a fast food chain

answer

countries that contain at least one arby’s

note 521

2023.05.23

somebody better call all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. cause im cracked

note 520

2023.05.21

just another sanic sunday

note 519

2023.05.11

i need a blinker on the roof of my car for when i ascend to heaven

note 518

2023.04.14

crossing the road should be illegal. learn to appreciate the side you’re on.

note 517

2023.04.05

in 2025 when you google me, every single image will be me smiling awkwardly at some red carpet photoshoot

note 516

2023.03.18

going to stop taking life advice from people who aren’t happier than me

note 515

2023.01.28

well, i’m trapped in a psychic prison for the next 2000 years. but at least i’m not danny. that guy’s trapped for 3000 years

note 514

2023.01.25

unlike the leaders of many Top corporations , i have never laid anybody off. if any ceo is “triggered” reading this then i grant them permission to kiss my ass

note 513

2023.01.24

capitalism would be a lot easier to solve if you could just Shoot corporations with a Gun…

note 512

2023.01.22

it takes a village to raise a child. but it only takes me, the world’s most powerful and evil necromancer, to raise a child from the dead

note 511

2023.01.20

personally i’m just glad they’re not beating an alive horse. that would be really mean

note 510

2023.01.11

fun fact: i played Godot in the last broadway production of Waiting for Godot

note 509

2023.01.09

oh, so girls my age stopped caring who can run fast 15 years ago? i did cross-country all that time for nothing? unbelievable.

note 508

2023.01.07

“laser jet printer” would sound so much cooler if the last word wasn’t printer

note 507

2023.01.05

refrigerator??? i barely— actually, you know what..... refrigerates her