shortform

note 67

my favorite kind of performance art is going to the library and reading a book

note 66

you can go your entire life without ever having your nose bitten

note 65

dude, i’m on acid right now. i can, like, see colors

note 64

the bible is the original case of sequelitis

note 63

ok, so the wheel has been invented… but does anyone really know how it works?

note 62

tambor lawrence has no decisions to make because she has made them all already

note 61

really trying to be multiple antichrists at the same time

note 60

if you close all your orifices, you can become homeomorphic to a brick wall

note 59

new catchphrase: “if it pee, let it be. if it poop, flush tha poop”

note 58

i can’t wait to turn 18 so i can find out what this whole pornography thing is about

note 57

i can play john cage’s 4‘33” in under two minutes

note 56

cutting your own hair is cool because it’s like self-harm but without all that pesky harm

note 55

turning off a frozen phone or computer feels so much like strangulation

note 54

band name: hellllamas

note 52

welcome to rock dot com (it’s a rock)

note 53

if u are in the center of the earth, every way is up

note 51

AP Statistics 2018 Answer Key: Problem #4.

A government’s congress has 575 members, of which 124 are women. An alien lands near the congress building and treats the members of congress as as a random sample of the human race. He reports to his superiors that a 95% confidence interval for the proportion of the human race that is female has a lower bound of 0.182 and an upper bound of 0.250.

note 50

my name is gilbert humprey gottfrieg, and i’m here to teach you about sex

note 49

there are 2 barbershops. one barbershop has a clean floor, clean mirrors, and the hairdresser has a recent haircut. the other one has messy floors and mirrors and the hairdresser hasn’t had their hair cut in a while. however, the clean one has 3.9 stars on yelp and the dirty one has only 3.8. where do you go?

note 48

take a bow… and put it in yo hair!