shortform

note 283

we always call them “t-r-e-a-t”s in my household, unless we don’t want the dog to understand, then we call them treats

note 282

one of my hobbies is buying ice cream from the grocery store

note 281

(going to jail in 2027) “Your personal liberties account has been terminated due to a violation of the United States Terms of Service (USToS). Please see our FAQ for more information.”

note 280

2001: A Space Odyssey and 1984 are set in the past now. that is why i would only set a story in a time that will never become the past, like 2046

note 278

what is a good way to get a lot of social validation

note 279

pentagons. i fucking knew it https://t.co/5vpjrUm3L5

note 277

Carnegie Mellon University is named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon. seems like they should have named it Andrew University

note 276

i’m a gnelf you’ve been gnelfed

note 275

going to get vaccinated and not move my arm around at all afterwards. who can stop me

note 274

new olympic race: there is no finish line. if you get lapped, you’re out of the race. last one standing wins

note 273

a good question to ask on a first date is “describe your utility function in three sentences or less.” this helps you see if you are compatible without getting bogged down in the details

note 272

easiest way to activate my fight or flight response is to get a call and your ringtone is the same sound effect as my morning alarm. I Am Not Asleep, and I Must Wake Up

martin egg easter celebration

note 271

winning a gaming match is pretty passion fruit orange and guava, if you ask me

note 270

every section of a newspaper is the gossip section

note 269

never consume, it makes cons out of u and me

note 268

the only norm is no norms

note 267

dude how many senators do u think floss

note 266

how do they slaughter eggs without cracking the shells

note 265

You’ve degraded yourself, and poisoned the discourse :)