note 289
when i play “She loves me, she loves me not”, i always make sure to pick a flower with an odd number of petals. this is what i call “gaming the system”
note 288
happy hour is cool but can we maybe make the happiness a bit longer
note 287
cream could have been labeled ‘35% milk’
note 286
i have gamified remembering my schedule by turning my calendar into a sporcle quiz
note 285
(me, after naming my kid Damien Jr) “please, Damien is my son. you can call me Mr. Snyder”
note 284
the army could save a lot of money if they stopped buying so many tanks and guns
note 283
we always call them “t-r-e-a-t”s in my household, unless we don’t want the dog to understand, then we call them treats
note 282
one of my hobbies is buying ice cream from the grocery store
note 281
(going to jail in 2027) “Your personal liberties account has been terminated due to a violation of the United States Terms of Service (USToS). Please see our FAQ for more information.”
note 280
2001: A Space Odyssey and 1984 are set in the past now. that is why i would only set a story in a time that will never become the past, like 2046
note 278
what is a good way to get a lot of social validation
note 279
pentagons. i fucking knew it https://t.co/5vpjrUm3L5
note 277
Carnegie Mellon University is named after Andrew Carnegie and Andrew Mellon. seems like they should have named it Andrew University
note 276
i’m a gnelf you’ve been gnelfed
note 275
going to get vaccinated and not move my arm around at all afterwards. who can stop me
note 274
new olympic race: there is no finish line. if you get lapped, you’re out of the race. last one standing wins
note 273
a good question to ask on a first date is “describe your utility function in three sentences or less.” this helps you see if you are compatible without getting bogged down in the details
note 272
easiest way to activate my fight or flight response is to get a call and your ringtone is the same sound effect as my morning alarm. I Am Not Asleep, and I Must Wake Up
martin egg easter celebration
note 271
winning a gaming match is pretty passion fruit orange and guava, if you ask me