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note 299

2021.06.22

can the mods of /r/thanksobama reopen the sub? i just thought of a good one

note 298

2021.06.21

i’m writing a new thinkpiece. it’s like the 95 Theses but for capitalism

note 297

2021.06.20

iif your city’s sports teams lose enough games, it gets renamed to Bitchtown until they start winning again

note 296

2021.06.18

if i had a time machine, i would go to 2013 and slow-motion tackle my earlier self in the moments just before posting cringe

note 295

2021.06.17

the US Bureau of Indian Affairs has found a loophole in their treaties where, instead of returning actual land rights, they return an NFT of the land rights instead

note 294

2021.06.16

seeing 1 spider: chill, go get em champ. seeing 2 spiders: who are you and what do you want from me

note 293

2021.06.13

what do fish need bones for. theyre in water. just like, flop around

note 292

2021.06.11

i recorded the Super Bowl because i was busy that day. going to watch it now and see who won

note 291

2021.06.10

can i get one of those big covers they drape on you when you get a haircut, but as street wear

note 290

2021.06.07

off-by-one errors in programming are cliché. i would only be off by three or more, if i made such an error

note 289

2021.06.05

when i play “She loves me, she loves me not”, i always make sure to pick a flower with an odd number of petals. this is what i call “gaming the system”

note 288

2021.06.03

happy hour is cool but can we maybe make the happiness a bit longer

note 287

2021.06.01

cream could have been labeled ‘35% milk’

note 286

2021.05.29

i have gamified remembering my schedule by turning my calendar into a sporcle quiz

note 285

2021.05.27

(me, after naming my kid Damien Jr) “please, Damien is my son. you can call me Mr. Snyder”

note 284

2021.05.20

the army could save a lot of money if they stopped buying so many tanks and guns

note 283

2021.05.15

we always call them “t-r-e-a-t”s in my household, unless we don’t want the dog to understand, then we call them treats

note 282

2021.05.11

one of my hobbies is buying ice cream from the grocery store

note 281

2021.05.07

(going to jail in 2027) “Your personal liberties account has been terminated due to a violation of the United States Terms of Service (USToS). Please see our FAQ for more information.”

note 280

2021.05.01

2001: A Space Odyssey and 1984 are set in the past now. that is why i would only set a story in a time that will never become the past, like 2046