shortform

bigfoot

note 325

turning 21 soon, can’t wait to find out what this whole “alcohol” thing is about

note 324

state lotteries are like a reverse welfare program

note 323

i like how weather websites try to do clickbait, but to stay on-brand they make it all weather-related clickbait

note 322

photorealistic martin egg https://t.co/56X1r3dzS0

note 321

if you’re wondering why i haven’t tweeted in a while, it’s because there’s no more jokes. i’ve said everything funny already

hands up in the air

martin egg (hyperrealistic)

note 320

when legislation goes to the supreme court it has to pass a constitution check

note 319

twitter is a good website, but i think it would be better if they made the character limit 281 instead

note 318

world maps had some pretty major errors until about the 1500s. therefore i encourage DMs in DnD to give their players maps where everything more than a thousand miles away is significantly out of proportion

note 317

casual sexism is bad enough, but the competitive scene just drives me nuts

note 316

when the feds investigated Tether, they found out the only assets backing it up were millions and millions of Chuck E Cheese tokens

note 315

the fifth humour is cum

note 314

when a pigeon shits on your car, you’re not allowed to sue them.... are our lawmakers accountable to the citizens, or to the lobbying of Big Bird? please sign my https://t.co/1LKJKpOwpu petition

note 312

last time i thought i had it, but the judges decided it was just a Relative Unit

note 313

trying to set the record for world’s smallest Absolute Unit

note 311

used to be a christian till i found out jesus wasn’t white. why does every story need an SJW agenda these days?

roundfrog

note 310

i am green not with envy but with the chlorophyll coursing through my veins. on this blessed day i shall\u2014