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note 318

2021.07.23

world maps had some pretty major errors until about the 1500s. therefore i encourage DMs in DnD to give their players maps where everything more than a thousand miles away is significantly out of proportion

note 317

2021.07.22

casual sexism is bad enough, but the competitive scene just drives me nuts

note 316

2021.07.20

when the feds investigated Tether, they found out the only assets backing it up were millions and millions of Chuck E Cheese tokens

note 315

2021.07.18

the fifth humour is cum

note 314

2021.07.14

when a pigeon shits on your car, you’re not allowed to sue them.... are our lawmakers accountable to the citizens, or to the lobbying of Big Bird? please sign my https://t.co/1LKJKpOwpu petition

note 312

2021.07.12

last time i thought i had it, but the judges decided it was just a Relative Unit

note 313

2021.07.12

trying to set the record for world’s smallest Absolute Unit

note 311

2021.07.10

used to be a christian till i found out jesus wasn’t white. why does every story need an SJW agenda these days?

roundfrog

2021.07.09

roundfrog

note 310

2021.07.09

i am green not with envy but with the chlorophyll coursing through my veins. on this blessed day i shall\u2014

note 309

2021.07.08

(band t-shirt) if you mess with the tuba section, you get the horns

note 308

2021.07.06

being at the North Pole is hard mode for Ramadan

note 307

2021.07.04

methamphetamines are legal and very healthy. i am a lawyer and a doctor, and this is both legal and medical advice

note 306

2021.07.02

in case bouncers don’t believe my fake ID, i have a fake birth certificate to corroborate

note 305

2021.06.30

going to stop calling people ‘out of my league,’ now that i have been called up to the Major League of Being Hot

note 304

2021.06.28

“I Am Malala” is cool but the main character seems like sort of a self insert…

note 303

2021.06.26

when the temperature hits 100 degrees in Seattle, the forecasters say, “Warning: Excessive Heat.” when it hits 100 in Phoenix, they say, “Warning: You Live In Arizona”

note 302

2021.06.25

when im president, the only requirement for trans men to have their gender officially recognized will be to solemnly swear to uphold the Bro Code

note 301

2021.06.24

if you read the first letter of every question on the SAT, it spells out a riddle, and if you get the riddle right they give you a full ride to Harvard immediately

note 300

2021.06.23

ppl really out here in 2021 writing songs that don’t rhyme 😂🤣