note 402
in the last month have u eaten
note 403
whoever named atoms after the greek for “indivisible” must have felt really stupid when they discovered subatomic particles
note 401
100 gecs if the horse was smart https://t.co/VQovKrbuVR
note 400
the avg deep sea creature is like - ‘this is the Blue-dicked Fuckworm. it is blind and exclusively eats shrimp poop and it only moves every 2000 years’
fremont
note 399
(me as an 8-year-old, after typing 23 exclamation points) i’m just not sure this is enough to get the point across
note 398
\u26a0\ufe0f\u26a0\ufe0f\u26a0\ufe0f THERE ARE 473 HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA. why aren’t you with any of them?
note 397
the front of a granola bag will be like “this is one of the healthiest foods in recorded human history” and the granola will have 12 g of sugar per quarter cup
note 396
Breaking: In an Effort To Engage Modern-Day Students, Schools are Reframing Grades as Tier Lists of Students in the Class
note 395
i don’t really get excited for the new minecraft updates anymore. i just like when they remove Herobrine again
note 394
(checking my phone at the airport) “time to put the ‘terminal’ in terminally online”
track 10 mood
note 393
the automated voice at the grocery store self checkout is annoying, but it’s worth it for the feeling when i press a button and it shuts up
note 392
(eating tacos) “i bet this kind of food could really get popular”
note 391
(home alone for the last 7 hours) “there’s no way to know for sure who made this mess, but it’s important to remember that the perpetrator might just be a misunderstood guy trying to do his best…”
note 390
hey babe what if we exchanged Taxpayer Identification Numbers (TIN)
note 389
i can accept red lines under possible typos, but now text editors try to correct my grammar? my punctuation? my God Damn capitalization? do they take me for a fool? why don’t you go correct the Pope’s interpretation of the bible while you’re at it
note 388
in Independence Day (1996), the US president is some guy who was never the president in real life. the director must have forgot who Bill Clinton was. i bet he’s kicking himself over that one