shortform

note 581

i’m not sayin i lack self-confidence… but i could use the adulation of hundreds of sprout moles every now and again

note 580

the strongest evidence for god’s existence is when my favorite team wins a football game. and the strongest evidence for His nonexistence is when they lose

underground

note 579

is your refrigerator running, or are you just happy to see me?

note 578

indie album tracklist:

1. no story
2. who is it
3. EMPTYFUTURE
4. your love has certain consequences
5. Glow Stick (feat. MUNA)
6. eiffel tower
7. want
8. we met in october
9. your friends
10. INFINITEPAST
11. everyday
12. carsick (3am)

note 577

girl, your a treasure. i’m going to add you to my hoard

note 576

can’t believe eve gave up the garden of eden for an apple. if it was me they would’ve needed something way tastier, like maybe a pizza

note 575

i appreciate Grand Totals, i think they are the only totals really befitting my stature

yume nut 3

note 573

do NOT interact if you work for the Dark Lord

note 574

america needs to construct more blue science packs if we ever want to keep up with china

note 572

dude, did you just offer me a Corona? like, the beer whose name is part of the word coronavirus? no way, dude. keep your disease beer to yourself

note 570

if you’re not with me you’re against me. and if you don’t love me you hate me. you HATE me!!!!!!!!

note 571

didn’t you know, officer? it’s national speeding day

note 567

we don’t need pop culture. we can get rid of it at this point

note 568

the cement is rapidly solidifying around me. but that’s neither here nor there

note 569

i think it would be a fun plot point if a few MLB players missed games because of jury duty each season

note 566

would you like to join my malign list

note 565

robbing peter to pay the pickled pepper

note 564

you have NO intangibles, NO x-factor, and not even a LICK of je ne sais quoi!!!