notes

note 434

back in my day, we Had self-driving cars.... they were called horses

note 433

RT @damien__snyder: got some Blaze Rods in minecraft which is pretty 420 imo

note 432

in the movie Her they should have had a plot twist where the AI is mostly reliant on Mechanical Turk, and the guy finds out and marries the person who writes its responses for $0.04 apiece

note 431

after months of preparation, martin can finally relax. he has brought easter to the land once again https://t.co/Fzm4H5g8bN

note 430

what if it was called attack off titan. what if it was called defense on titan. what if it was called attack on io. what if

note 429

i just want u to be a little emotionally dependent on me. is that so much to ask

note 427

BREAKING: top ethicists have declared it “immoral” to not pay enough attention to me

note 428

only 2 people.... haha yeah, it’s pretty niche. but i’m a nerd so i get it

note 426

star wars (like if you get this reference)

note 425

i wish i was like the minecraft villager, so whenever you make me angry a little storm cloud would flash over my head

note 424

scientists say he died of complications following an exceptionally awkward joke

note 423

if you were a who living in whoville would “who’s on first” be more or less funny

note 422

holy shit. buzzfeed and the new york times are reporting that the easter bunny is anti union. what a shameful truth. it is time to move past this outdated mascot of easter who does not represent our times https://t.co/vq8VX3FwSv

note 421

no one speaks french. it’s just a prank they’re playing

note 420

aaaaand scene (dies)

note 419

for april fools i’m gonna not tweet, and then you’ll all wonder “where did damien go?? he hasn’t tweeted?! is he ok!??” you should see the look on your faces when i do that

note 418

i heard jojo fans actually invented making references to things

note 417

they should make a law where i’m allowed to steal money from other people

note 416

they hate me. and i hypothesize it has to do with the fact that they ain’t me

note 415

i think i would be more popular if i finally joined that ‘planking’ fad everyone’s talking about. but i’m not gonna do it. i have standards, you know