notes

note 525

life got this bitch reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

note 523

not impressed when someone tells me their ribs fall off the bone. like ok yours dont know how to balance. whatever

note 524

Q: What kind of yogurt do gorillas eat?

note 522

“her bark is worse than her bite,” she said.

then the dog shot me with a gun.

note 521

somebody better call all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. cause im cracked

note 520

just another sanic sunday

note 519

i need a blinker on the roof of my car for when i ascend to heaven

note 518

crossing the road should be illegal. learn to appreciate the side you’re on.

note 517

in 2025 when you google me, every single image will be me smiling awkwardly at some red carpet photoshoot

note 516

going to stop taking life advice from people who aren’t happier than me

note 515

well, i’m trapped in a psychic prison for the next 2000 years. but at least i’m not danny. that guy’s trapped for 3000 years

note 514

unlike the leaders of many Top corporations , i have never laid anybody off. if any ceo is “triggered” reading this then i grant them permission to kiss my ass

note 513

capitalism would be a lot easier to solve if you could just Shoot corporations with a Gun…

note 512

it takes a village to raise a child. but it only takes me, the world’s most powerful and evil necromancer, to raise a child from the dead

note 511

personally i’m just glad they’re not beating an alive horse. that would be really mean

note 510

fun fact: i played Godot in the last broadway production of Waiting for Godot

note 509

oh, so girls my age stopped caring who can run fast 15 years ago? i did cross-country all that time for nothing? unbelievable.

note 508

“laser jet printer” would sound so much cooler if the last word wasn’t printer

note 507

refrigerator??? i barely— actually, you know what..... refrigerates her

note 506

heres a list of most of the letters in the alphabet: abcdefhjklmnopqrstuvyz