notes

note 514

unlike the leaders of many Top corporations , i have never laid anybody off. if any ceo is “triggered” reading this then i grant them permission to kiss my ass

note 513

capitalism would be a lot easier to solve if you could just Shoot corporations with a Gun…

note 512

it takes a village to raise a child. but it only takes me, the world’s most powerful and evil necromancer, to raise a child from the dead

note 511

personally i’m just glad they’re not beating an alive horse. that would be really mean

note 510

fun fact: i played Godot in the last broadway production of Waiting for Godot

note 509

oh, so girls my age stopped caring who can run fast 15 years ago? i did cross-country all that time for nothing? unbelievable.

note 508

“laser jet printer” would sound so much cooler if the last word wasn’t printer

note 507

refrigerator??? i barely— actually, you know what..... refrigerates her

note 506

heres a list of most of the letters in the alphabet: abcdefhjklmnopqrstuvyz

note 505

welcome to the year 2023, brought to you by Burt Boffin’s Auto Parts & Collision Repair Shop

note 504

disappointed by your christmas gifts this year? you may have been assigned the Placebo Santa

note 503

call me santa claus the way i’m judging everything you do

note 502

eat a lunch. you deserve it!

note 501

hey how do you feel about forks. picks up a fork and waves it at u you know what i’m talking about? these things?

note 500

well as they say, “the antagonist of my antagonist is my protagonist”

note 499

shoutout to all the girls who are firing their lazor tonight

note 497

as an anarcho-syndicalist, i could never date an anarcho-primitivist. just too many differences between us to make it work

note 498

some people can’t take a joke these days 😂 for instance, i told a guy “why did the chicken cross the road, IDIOT MORON?” and he got super mad at me 😂😂 lol some people 😂

note 495

i think instead of genetically engineering plants to make them grow better we should try to create shoop da whoop in real life

note 496

”…but it has a keycode. the code changes every week but it should be written on a piece of paper taped to the door.” so you go out to the hallway and see the code is 4871, but the 8 key on the keypad is jammed. you go back and ask, but they tell you… [2/18]