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notes

note 534

2023.08.15

i refuse to clip my toenails until we do something about gun violence in this country

note 533

2023.08.14

some of you wouldn’t last a minute inside my murder chamber

note 532

2023.08.11

i promise! i was sitting there and the eschaton just immanentized itself!

note 531

2023.07.25

wow “the exception that proves the rule.” i guess everything just proves the rule huh

note 530

2023.07.15

the solar plexus wins my award for body part that sounds most like a wrestling move

note 529

2023.07.05

i couldn’t help but notice your various imperfections

note 528

2023.06.26

fact of the matter is, if you are hanging out and someone tosses a ball or a pillow to someone else, that object will get tossed around for another 3 to 10 more minutes.

note 527

2023.06.08

the garlic community has been shocked by what some are calling “the clove of the century”

note 526

2023.06.07

does anyone have some spare essence of bug. i need to make a potion

note 525

2023.06.06

life got this bitch reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

note 523

2023.05.31

not impressed when someone tells me their ribs fall off the bone. like ok yours dont know how to balance. whatever

note 524

2023.05.31

Q: What kind of yogurt do gorillas eat?

Answer

Gorillas don’t eat yogurt!

note 522

2023.05.26

“her bark is worse than her bite,” she said.

then the dog shot me with a gun.

note 521

2023.05.23

somebody better call all the king’s horses and all the king’s men. cause im cracked

note 520

2023.05.21

just another sanic sunday

note 519

2023.05.11

i need a blinker on the roof of my car for when i ascend to heaven

note 518

2023.04.14

crossing the road should be illegal. learn to appreciate the side you’re on.

note 517

2023.04.05

in 2025 when you google me, every single image will be me smiling awkwardly at some red carpet photoshoot

note 516

2023.03.18

going to stop taking life advice from people who aren’t happier than me

note 515

2023.01.28

well, i’m trapped in a psychic prison for the next 2000 years. but at least i’m not danny. that guy’s trapped for 3000 years