notes

note 349

crimes committed inside a mcdonald’s are under jurisdiction of mcdonald’s law

note 348

Happy birthday! You’re super special, and I hope you have a great time.

(read this tweet on your birthday. you’re welcome!)

note 347

what if we vibed in Light Reign (Turrell, 2003, permanent skyspace and exterior illumination work)

note 345

can one of you armchair psychoanalysts tell me what it says about a person if they upload a real profile picture on Canvas

note 346

oh, you think the earth is flat? what about all the HILLS doesn’t look very flat to me huh?

note 344

gratitude journals should be mandated by law

note 343

everything unintuitive about switching between am/pm at 12:00 is immediately solved by a zero-indexed clock https://t.co/SG6io88mgl

note 342

television? oh, you mean the opiate of the masses? no, i don’t watch it

note 341

big fan of asking where the bathroom is in a restaurant, the waiter says “oh you’ll need a key, let me get it.” they bring it back to you, the key is taped to a plastic spoon, they tell you “go into the hallway and take a right, it should be the third door, …” [1/18]

note 340

does Bruno Mars still play Count On Me in his live sets

note 339

if you’re not sure if you’re using an obscure word right, you can probably get away with it propitiously even if you’re wrong

note 338

going to let my phone get hacked then fix it and tell everyone “oops i got hacked” then use that as an icebreaker to start some conversations

note 337

the state may have a monopoly on violence, but i have a monopsony on it

note 336

hey, loser\u2014the 1930s called, they want their outfit back! they’re also not doing so great, they asked us to please send them some help

note 335

vtuber is internet slang for virtual potato

note 334

this is what pac-man looks like at a microscopic level https://t.co/6RqEvRM14T

note 333

i’m going to send you to hell, and then destroy hell

note 332

they both say, ‘Land, ho!’

thank you for your patience

note 331

what do a pirate and a rude air traffic controller have in common?

punchline coming tomorrow

note 330

android fuck off. jonkerOS runs on three TRILLION devices